From time to time as a child my mother would make references
to what she thought was in the bible, and of course her being my mother, I took what
she said as the “gospel”. One phrase I often heard her say when she had heard
someone had done an exceptionally selfless act of kindness or generosity that
that person had won “another star in their crown of glory”. I asked her once
what it meant and she said someday I’d stand before the Lord to be judged and
if I had lived a good life the Lord would let me stay in heaven with him and
wear a golden crown. She went on to say that that crown would be my crown of glory with stars
showing how many good deeds I had done while on earth and how many people I had helped along the way. I took her for her word
and for the most part I've helped those in need in my life when I could.
Many years ago I had just separated from my spouse of 25 years,
most of them good, but the last few very turbulent for me. After such a split I
think most folks go through various emotions ranging from guilt to even
feelings of a lack of self-worth. Christmas has always been special to me and
my large family always gathered on Christmas Eve at my parent’s home. I always
loved being there on Christmas Eve, but this first Christmas Eve as a single
person I was alone. I really didn't want to explain my personal decision to
divorce to my family, and the kids went to my Ex’s family gathering leaving me
alone on the one evening I dearly wanted to be home and not alone.
I decided I’d go out and about and not sit at home with all
the depressing thoughts running through my head, some of which I’m embarrassed
to say could have been my last thoughts on this earth. I went to a local bar I
sometimes stopped by for a quick drink and found that someone must had secretly
placed a sign above my head saying, “All complete losers please sit next to me”,
it didn't take long for me to figure out this was no place for me on Christmas
Eve. I left the bar and just drove around determined not to sit at home alone
and let these feelings of depression get the best of me.
Before long I drove by one of the only restaurants open near
my home on Christmas Eve and decided maybe a big fat steak would cheer me up. I pulled in to see how much longer they might be open and standing at the door
was an old classmate from high school. She immediately smiled and greeted me a
hearty “Merry Christmas” and a hug. I got to tell you that was the best hug I
had had in a very long time, If not the best, the most needed for sure. She
asked what I was doing out alone and I only told her I was newly single and didn't
want to be home alone tonight. She smiled and said she hadn't had her dinner
break yet and asked if I wanted company with my meal, boy did I ever!
It's funny how life works, I had not seen her in years and nor
have I our paths crossed since, but on the one night I needed company more than anything, maybe the
Lord sent me that angel. Her simple act of kindness to have a meal with me on
that Christmas Eve renewed my faith in God, in myself, and in my belief that
things would be alright in my new life. I still have no idea if my mother knew
what she was talking about but I’d like to believe my old friend surely
received “A star in her crown of glory” that night.